Monday, September 8, 2014

Funny Spam Comments and Pretty Flowers

Last week, when I learned that my parents were coming for an unplanned visit, I did some speedy clutter pick up and mucked out the most embarrassing dirt.  I didn't want to do too good of a job though, because there's always a good chance the state of my housework will benefit from my mother's visit if I let her see the desperate state I've allowed things to become.  I stopped myself from bringing my two huge baskets of unmatched socks into the living room and telling woeful stories about how the kids at work make fun of my mismatched ankles.   

One of the things I did to prepare for the visit was to take a trip to the garden with some scissors so I could refresh the flowers in my blue vase, and then stand around arranging the flowers and taking way to many pictures of my flowers.  Why do I care if my socks are matched when I have flowers to admire?

Speaking of admiration... if I ever need to boost my blogging confidence, all I need to do is read my spam comments.  One of the neatest things about this blog is that there is a "comments" tab I can select from the blog design page, that lets me see all the comments that have been made in order of when they were posted.  This means that if someone comments on an old post, I can see it without having to scroll back through all the old posts.  I don't get very many real comments, but I click the tab regularly just to make sure I haven't made a new friend who isn't afraid of leaving a comment.  Also under the comments tab is a place where all the spam comments go.  This spam is obviously computer generated generic comments, probably not from an English speaking computer, that have an embedded link that probably gives me a virus or steals my soul or something,  I don't ever click the link so I'm not sure what shenanigans they are up to.  

Even though they aren't genuine, sometimes I like to read them because they are so funny.  And so complementary!  Here are some examples: 

"Excellent publish, very informative.  I ponder why the opposite specialist of this sector do not understand this.  You should continue your writing.  I’m confident, you have a great readers’ base already!  Also visit my blog…"

Yeah, what's up with those opposite specialists, anyway?  I will continue my writing.  Thank you. 

"Hello my loved one!  I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include almost all significant infos.  I’d like to peer more posts like this.  Feel free to visit my website…"

Isn't that sweet?  I will try to always include almost all significant infos.  Thank you!

"Along with the whole thing which seems to be developing within this specific subject material, your points of view tend to be rather stimulating.  However, I beg your pardon, because I can not subscribe to your whole theory, all be in stimulating none the less.  It appears to us that your remarks are not totally rationalized and in fact you are your self not even completely convinced of your point.  In any event I did appreciate examining it.  Feel free to surf my blog…"

I agree.  I am never totally rationalized or completely convinced of my point, but I make it none the less!  I'm glad someone finds me rather stimulating.  

"You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find thiss topic to be actually something whch I thin I would never understand.  It seems too complex and very broad for me.  I am looking forward to your next post, I will try to get thee ang of it!  Feel free to surf to my homepage…"

Yes, I must admit, my topics are actually very broad, and actually very deep.  Especially when I go on about my chickens or my tomatoes!  ha!  I'm sure you will get the hang of it.  

My photo turned out to be blurry, but during the visit with mom and dad, we popped open a bottle of hard apple cider that Jamie, Joe, and I made from apples from Joe's grandmothers tree last fall.  It was so tart and dry that it made my cheeks ache, but it was lovely and bubbly, and I was excited to use my champagne glasses.  

Okay, one last spam comment, just for giggles: 

"Having read this I believed it was extremely enlightening.  I appreciate your taking the time and energy to put this information together.  I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and leaving comments.  But so what, it was still worth it!  My weblog…"

 "Extremely enlightening"?  Really?  Aw, shucks. I too find myself spending a significant amount of time on this blog, so I'm glad you thought it was worth it!  


Anonymous said...

Your content is always happy and your writing skills to communicate well. Help I am stranded at the airport in Nigeria with no cash or credit cards as very bad people have stealed them all. Please send money by American Express to me as soon as possible. You are my only hope as my bestest friend and skillful blogger.


MA said...

Im at the dentist and you still had me laughing!

rain said...

Tamara, spot on spam! You should market your spam writing skills, because that sounds just like most of the over 400 spam comments I have received. Obviously, spam writers are in great demand.

MA, you are laughing at the dentist?! That may be my greatest blogging achievement yet!

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