Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Shameful Sock Management

Brandon and I recently confessed to a group of friends that our socks were out of control.  I didn't realize it would, but admitting to shameful sock management is excellent motivation for facing a giant suitcase full of unmatched socks with a can do attitude.  

We explained to our friends how we lazily stopped matching our socks, and that what used to be a small basket of unmatched socks eventually evolved into a large heavy suitcase which we would lift to the bed and rummage through daily searching for something to wear.  The situation was so ridiculous, that I was once asked if we sleep in a pile of clothes, because there's almost always a pile of socks on the bed.  It's funny to think of burrowing down into a pile of socks like a gerbil, but we always stuffed the overflow of socks back into their case each night, and then repeated the crazy routine the next day.  Someone asked how this was easier than just matching the socks once they have been washed.  It's not, especially when the suitcase is as heavy as ours, as my back can testify.  

Occasionally, my mother would visit and be so appalled by the sock situation that she would match them all up and it would take us months and months to get it back to an embarrassing state (thanks, Mom!).  Those were always such good months...  Just imagine, what if we lived with matched socks all the time?  Maybe we can do better.  Turn a new leaf, as they say, and be good citizens who match our socks.  

The cats and I settled in for an epic evening of sock matching.  When Jamie saw the pile of socks on the table as I organized by type and color, I could tell he was impressed.  Not impressed with my efforts so much as the sheer quantity of socks!  How many pairs of socks do you think a person should have?  After questioning my friends, I heard a range of numbers from seven pairs to fifty pairs.  I was curious to know how many pairs I owned.  

This is what ninety-seven pairs of socks looks like.  Ninety-seven!  When I told Brandon how many pairs of socks I had, he started calling me a sock hoarder until he counted his own and realized he had more than sixty pairs himself.  When I took careful stock of all my socks, I wanted to keep them all.  Turns out, I have a wide variety of sock needs.  I need hiking socks and socks for my waders, fuzzy socks and comfortable socks, summer socks and dress socks, toe-socks and novelty socks, and gym socks and leg warmers.  I might really like socks.  

I managed to cull my sock collection down to seventy-nine pairs.  I realize that this is still a lot of socks, but now they all fit snugly into two drawers.  It's been several days since I matched all our socks, and so far we are keeping up.  Of course, I've had plenty of time at home to do things like matching socks, so the real test will be the next time we get really busy, and I remember that I have drawers full of matched socks, so why shouldn't I just toss clean socks in a basket, you know, for matching later.  

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