Monday, September 30, 2013

Three Things to Remember about Chicken Butt

I've written before about Mrs. Halls "little problem" and the lengths I went to lend a helping hand the last time it occurred.  Today, I noticed that she had several flies doing laps around her, like the Pig Pen character from Charlie Brown, and that her feathers in her nether area were wet and dirty.  Sure enough, when I picked her up for a closer examination, there was the dreaded pink protrusion.  A prolapse.  Gross.  

Not that I know that much about treating a protrusion, since I only had this happen one other time, and the problem was quickly taken care of, but today, I did learn a few things worthy of remembering.  For starters, if I pick up my chicken and realize there is a problem, and then think "I should find something to put her in while I go assemble some gear," I should heed my initial instinct rather than thinking, "nah, I'll just carry her in and grab what I need."  Because, you see, the problem with grabbing the Preparation H that I bought last time this happened, while holding a chicken upside down under my arm, is that apparently I do not store Preparation H where I would assume it's normal to keep a butt medicine - the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.  And because my medicine cabinet is somewhat disorganized (it's a jumbled disaster) it takes dexterity to search through the contents, and it's hard to be dexterous with one hand while doing a football hold on a chicken with the other.  Hmm... maybe I classified it as pet supplies, so it would be in the flea medicine drawer?  A few more minutes of clumsy searching, and the poor chicken starts to slip, and with reasonable fear that she's about to be dropped on her head, tries to flap a little.  

Sorry girl, maybe I put it with the cleaning supplies, because I didn't want any confusion that it was for human use.  More searching, more chicken shifting - I'm getting desperate.  It has to be here somewhere!  Did I overlook it in the medicine cabinet?  Is it with the chicken food, outside?  Back outside and rummaging through the shed only to finally give up.  I never found it.  Mrs. Hall has little dignity, but she does have some, and I'm sure she was completely humiliated by her unflattering position and disrespectful treatment!  Not to mention her butt has been inches from my face for the entire time!  

Preparation H is one of the items that I would prefer to buy as few times as possible, so even worse than embarrassing my chicken, I have to buy more butt medicine.  Poor me, right?  

Why didn't I just set Mrs. Hall down and pick her back up when I found what I needed?  Well, it's easy enough to catch her once, but then she's on to me and keeps a safe distance for a while, so I thought it would be easier to just hold her.  Now I know, stick the chicken in a box and prevent any repeats of that fiasco.  

Secondly, if, once I carry my chicken into the house and decide to use the bathroom sink to clean up her butt, I should remember that this will ultimately result in spending the time I had planned to leisurely prepare an evening meal giving the bathroom a deep cleaning.  Once I had spent some time cleaning her, and was thoroughly grossed out, disinfecting the bathroom and soaking our toothbrushes in peroxide, just in case air born chicken poo particles settled on them, seemed suddenly more important than getting creative with dinner.  I'm not saying this is a bad thing, as it's always nice to take advantage of strong motivation when it comes to house work, but I will remember to factor this in the next time I decide to use the sink instead of taking a bucket of water outside.  

The third thing to remember from this experience is that if I carry my chicken upside down for a while, and then continue to hold her upside down while she gets a washing, a small prolapse will magically retreat without my help.  But unfortunately, since I didn't have the Preparation H to reduce the swelling, I fear that it may be back in the morning.  If so, I will remember today's lessons.  

P.S.  Turns out that Helen is more photogenic that Mrs. Hall, because all the pictures on my phone, which I used here, are of Helen.  I didn't realize I was playing favorites!  


Stormyshay said...

I was listening to a podcast a few months ago where a girl was talking about how much work chickens were. She mentioned picked them up and wiping their bottoms because they get gross. I thought who does I know my sister-in-law does! ha ha.

rain said...

The things I do for love... I mean eggs!

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